The Art of Finding a Sponsor

It’s not your resume that’s holding you back—it’s your silence.

You’ve got the receipts—results, growth, the strategic wins. But still… you’re not being invited to the next-level conversations. Not being considered for the stretch project. Not being named in the rooms that decide what’s next.

Why?

Because performance without visibility is a trap. And waiting to be noticed—especially as a high-performing leader—isn’t noble. It’s a career blocker.

Sponsorship is often the difference between being exceptional and being seen. But no one can sponsor a ghost. If no one with power knows what you want, what you’re about, or why you’re ready… you’re invisible. And no one advocates for someone they can’t see.

Most leaders don’t stall out because they lack skill. They stall because they’ve been taught to wait. To wait for recognition. To wait until they’re “ready.” To wait for someone to notice.

And if you hold intersectional identities, whew—internalized messaging around humility and not “bragging” can keep you in the same role for years. The double bind—the contradictory pressures to be both competent and deferential, strong yet not “intimidating,” assertive yet not “aggressive”—is real. A 2023 study, Managing the Double Bind: Women Directors’ Participation Tactics in the Gendered Boardroom, further explores how insidious this dynamic can be.

We also know from the 2023 McKinsey & Lean In report that women of color are even more ambitious than white women—88% want to be promoted to the next level. Yet, most companies don’t tailor career development programs with them in mind. Formal mentorship and sponsorship programs can be a game changer, but informal ones are often even more powerful.

Sponsorship Isn’t About Being Liked—It’s About Being Remembered

We confuse this all the time. Mentorship? That’s guidance. Sponsorship? That’s leverage.

Mentorship is like a tea bag—you dunk it, get some good advice, and move on.  Sponsorship? That’s loose-leaf tea—bold, layered, and rich. It takes time to steep, but once it does? Game. Changer.

One supports your growth. The other moves your career. But no one wakes up and says, “You know who I want to stake my reputation on? That stranger who emailed me for a coffee chat.”

Sponsorship requires proximity, trust, and a clear understanding of who you are, what you’re about, and where you’re headed.

Self-advocacy is a key differentiator between mid-level managers and executives. Hard work creates credibility, but visibility creates opportunity.

You Can’t Be Sponsored If You Don’t Know What You Want

One of the biggest blockers I see in coaching? Brilliant, driven leaders who want “support” or “mentorship” but haven’t done the inner work to define what they’re aiming for. A sponsor can’t advocate for a vague version of you.

They need to know:

• What’s the next step you’re aiming for?
• Why does it matter—to you, and to the business?
• What specific kind of advocacy would help?

If you can’t answer those questions, pause. Not because you’re not ready, but because clarity is strategy. If you’re not clear, how will they be?

Are you curious about how others weighed in on this topic? Check out my LinkedIn post; the comments provided a great look at how people view sponsorship.

The Leadership Lies That Keep You Stuck

Let’s name them! Because if you’ve believed them, it’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to unlearn them.

🚫 “Just work hard and someone will notice.”
Your work doesn’t speak for itself, it whispers. Unless someone’s already paying attention, they won’t hear it.

🚫 “Self-promotion is bragging.”
Nope. Effective leaders advocate for themselves and their impact in ways that feel grounded, not performative. This isn’t about ego. It’s about visibility.

🚫 “If I keep my head down and fit in, I’ll get noticed.”
Blending in might make you easier to work with, but it also makes you easy to overlook. Visibility isn’t vanity. It’s velocity.

Believing these myths doesn’t just slow you down—it keeps you stuck. Just ask ‘Terry’ (a former coaching client).

Terry’s Shift: From Invisible to Intentional

Terry was the go-to person on her team. Reliable. Efficient. Quiet. But year after year, stretch assignments and high-profile projects went to others. She kept thinking, “I’ve earned it. Why am I not being tapped?”

During coaching, she realized she’d been working HARD, but hadn’t built relationships with people who could shift her career forward. She hated networking as it felt like ‘begging’. She had to confront some deeply ingrained beliefs:

• “Sponsors only show up for VPs.”
• “Asking for help makes me feel weak and look needy.”
• “Is my role/title even worthy of sponsorship?”

After some hard coaching conversations and deep self-reflection, Terry started playing the game differently.

She:

💥 Stopped assuming people knew what she brought to the table.
💥 Got intentional about asking for support and recognition.
💥 Stopped downplaying her value—and started owning it.
💥 Identified key sponsors and made the first move.
💥 Realized sponsorship isn’t given—it’s cultivated.
💥 Built relationships that didn’t end after one conversation.

Terry didn’t wait for permission. She took the first step because she finally believed she was worth being sponsored.

The Art of Finding a Sponsor: Where to Begin

Let’s cut through the fluff. You don’t need a hundred coffee chats or a polished elevator pitch. What you need is connection, credibility, and clarity. Asking someone to sponsor you begins long before the actual ask.

Sponsorship starts with connection. It’s not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am event. It’s long game energy. Chess, not Checkers. Folx won’t risk their reputations just because you want them as sponsors. Earning a sponsor requires strategy, nurturing, and sometimes, moving through uncomfortable spaces.

1. Get Clear

Before you reach out, ask:

• What direction am I trying to grow in?
• Do I have—or am I developing—the skills required?
• What do I need in a sponsor? What would I want them to say about me, and in which rooms?

2. Start Small

No connection with your prospective sponsor yet? Don’t pass Go.

• Attend something they’re part of. Observe. Engage. Introduce yourself—not to pitch, but to start a relationship.
• Notice shared values or goals? Good. Remember those.
• You’re not selling—you’re planting the seed of something meaningful.

3. Show Value

Once there’s rapport, position yourself as the solution.

• What problems can you help solve?
• What actions can deepen the relationship?
• How can you stay curious about what they need?

You’re not keeping score. You’re aligning purpose and presence.

How to Be a Sponsor (Yes, You)

If you hold influence—formal or informal—you can shift someone’s trajectory.

So ask yourself:

• Who isn’t in the room but should be?
• Who consistently shows up with excellence but lacks visibility?
• Who could benefit from your advocacy if only you offered it?

You don’t need a title. Just the willingness to use your access to lift as you lead.

🍵 Small Sips – Try One

✅ Define your “Why” for seeking sponsorship.
✅ Challenge your inner narrative about visibility.
✅ Say it aloud: “I am worthy of being sponsored.”
✅ Identify three people with influence, and start building context.
✅ Send one brave message this month to open a real conversation.

Leadership That Lasts Is Built on Sponsorship

You can be excellent and still be overlooked.
You can do everything “right” and still be invisible—if no one knows what you’re ready for.

Sponsorship isn’t about chasing clout. It’s about being seen.
It’s about building relationships that challenge, grow, and elevate what’s possible.
That’s the real art of finding—and being—a sponsor.

So here’s your challenge: Stop waiting. Start asking. Start aligning.
Because the next level of your leadership won’t arrive uninvited, you have to name it, seek it, and step into it.

Want more real talk like this in your inbox?

💌 Sign up for The Monthly BREW™—brewing and spilling tea on leadership monthly. Get yourself a cup here.